Maybe you have never read "Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun" or "Who Moved My Cheese". Perhaps you've never worked in a corporate atmosphere where your boss insists on saying "we" when he means "you", and that same dickhead thinks motivational posters are substitutes for leadership. If you've never been in that atmosphere before, you've probably never heard about how dominant "alpha males" are supposed to shake hands. Here's how you do it:1. Make eye contact
2. Grab your enemy's hand from the top
3. Lean into their personal space
If you see someone practice this in real life, and they're the CEO of a company, then that company is fucking doomed. That dickhead has learned everything he knows about leadership and creativity from books written by people who write books for people dumb enough to buy into business fads.
5 comments:
If you notice that someone is about to lean in and grab your hand from the top while staring you down, try using one of my favorite handshake tricks. Ok, it's my only handshake trick. With hand extended, just before the grasp, bend your middle finger down. Then latch onto their hand so they can't escape, then diddle their palm with your finger. You might even say something along the lines of "You like that don't you?" At any rate you will then have pulled off the old switcheroo on them, making them the cunt and you the one in charge.
This is good advice. You should write business books. About Business and stuff.
I did that to my wife as we were getting married.
I thought you kissed your bride? I showed up late, although I don't remember the preacher saying you may shake hands with the bride.
I like to grab the end of their fingers before they manage to get palm to palm and then shake vigorously and by vigorously I mean shake the fucking piss out of them. I have found this technique very effective especially on John Maley who I have done this with every time I have seen him, much to his dismay.
Stevil Kenevil
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