Polar Bear Rug

I've been looking for a polar bear rug to pull my living room together. A centerpiece that says, "Yes, of course I've had sex on that, and you probably shouldn't touch that or anything else that I own. I'm kind of creepy."

Unfortunately, that kind of authentic creepiness is outside of my price range. Real Polar Bear Rugs.

Even awesome knock-offs are expensive. Fake Polar Bear Rugs.

Fucking polar bears!