Century Research Foundation

The Hollies - The Air That I Breathe

2012-01-29T20:55:00.004-06:00

It's not a big secret anymore, but I never knew that Radiohead's Creep was influenced by this song.

For reference

Once In A While, A Blog Will Come Along...

2012-01-24T18:57:00.002-06:00

...this is one of those blogs.

"You're A Creep, Charlie Brown!"

2012-01-18T22:04:00.000-06:00

Animator Rob Yulfo edited this collection of Peanuts clips set to Vega Choir’s cover of Radiohead’s Creep.

Hitler reacts to SOPA.

2012-01-18T09:02:00.000-06:00

Well Here's Something

2012-01-11T00:46:00.002-06:00

Idea for a shock-comedy band:

Have a band called "2Soon?" and all the songs are insensitive jokes about very recent tragic news stories, the fresher and more tragic the better.

A Twisted Christmas

2011-12-19T23:42:00.002-06:00

It wouldn't be Christmas without it.

Well Here's Something

2011-12-16T21:50:00.004-06:00

Stories wanted:

Post a narrative of the last time you were ever in a Winn-Dixie.

Difficulty: Noir.

Irish pub

2011-11-27T19:10:00.003-06:00

So I was lookin for an Irish pub where I could get a pint O stout and some bangers. I heard the Tipperary reopened as some place named Molly's so I looked them up online and saw that they were closed as well.
Who wants to go out drinkin? I guess I'm gonna have to drive to Allen or Plano. Know of any pubs?

Well Here's Something

2011-11-15T21:45:00.001-06:00

Last night in dream, a vision came to me, divinely sent, of the world's most perfect hair metal video. What follows is a rough sketch...

Our musical narrative begins in a high school classroom, hallway, luncheteria, etc with an authority figure such as a teacher, principal... or actually it's pretty much going to be one or the other of those. This authority figure is surly, mean-spirited, and will be a central figure throughout. Also, this person is ugly.

The video must... must begin with a venom-filled, rock-and-roll-hating, ultra-disciplinarian admonition of the students, followed by a lesson or instruction being introduced when-- what's this??--

ABOUT 4 OR 5 HAIR METAL DUDES, INSTRUMENTS AT THE READY, COME SMASHING INTO THE SCENE THROUGH THE VERY BRICK WALLS!...

...upon which, they break into song.

From nowhere, the formerly least-attractive female student is garbed suddenly in form-fitting acid-washed jeans and razor-slashed tee. She is suddenly quite attractive, exited, and the object of everyone's attention... the Queen Bitch Ultima. Her hair is just as suddenly a fully-teased, foot taller, fully drenched in Aqua-Net monument to barely-legality. The nerdiest male student suddenly is draped in black leather, guitar in hand...

Anyway, how is it that no one ever made a video like this?

I think that'd'a ruled.

I tell you, I tell you, I tell you no lies

2011-11-12T00:09:00.001-06:00

\m/ > < \m/

Black Sabbath is reuniting for a new album.

New Banner

2011-11-07T20:37:00.002-06:00

It's a work in progress. Just wanted to see if it fit. Don't judge me yet!

Polar Bear Rug

2011-11-07T01:28:00.000-06:00

I've been looking for a polar bear rug to pull my living room together. A centerpiece that says, "Yes, of course I've had sex on that, and you probably shouldn't touch that or anything else that I own. I'm kind of creepy."

Unfortunately, that kind of authentic creepiness is outside of my price range. Real Polar Bear Rugs.

Even awesome knock-offs are expensive. Fake Polar Bear Rugs.

Fucking polar bears!

Christmas gift idea

2011-11-06T22:46:00.001-06:00

If you are at work, you shouldn't have looked at that.

More American Standard Code for Information Interchange Fun!

2011-11-04T21:46:00.003-05:00

………………….._,,-~’’’¯¯¯’’~-,,
………………..,-‘’ ; ; ;_,,---,,_ ; ;’’-,…………………………….._,,,---,,_
……………….,’ ; ; ;,-‘ , , , , , ‘-, ; ;’-,,,,---~~’’’’’’~--,,,_…..,,-~’’ ; ; ; ;__;’-,
……………….| ; ; ;,’ , , , _,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯’’~’-,,_ ,,-~’’ , , ‘, ;’,
……………….’, ; ; ‘-, ,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-, , , , , ,’ ; |
…………………’, ; ;,’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-, , ,-‘ ;,-‘
………………….,’-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-‘ ;,,-‘
………………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;__ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,’
………………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’¯: : ’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; _ ; ; ; ; ;’,
……………..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;| : : : : : :| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’¯: ¯’’-, ; ; ;’,
…………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,_: : _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | : : : : : :| ; ; ; |
……………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ¯¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’-,,_ : :,-‘ ; ; ; ;|
…………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-~’’ , , , , ,,,-~~-, , , , _ ; ; ;¯¯ ; ; ; ; ;|
..…………,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ , , , , , , ,( : : : : :) , , , ,’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
……….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’, , , , , , , , ,’~---~’’ , , , , , ,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
…….,-‘’ ; _, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’~-,,,,--~~’’’¯’’’~-,,_ , ,_,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,-‘’-~’’,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; | . . . . . . ,’; ,’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,_ ; ‘-,
……….,’ ; ;,-, ; ;, ; ; ;, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ;’, . . . . .,’ ;,’ ; ; ; ;, ; ; ;,’-, ; ;,’ ‘’~--‘’’
………,’-~’ ,-‘-~’’ ‘, ,-‘ ‘, ,,- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ‘~-,,,-‘’ ; ,’ ; ; ; ; ‘, ;,-‘’ ; ‘, ,-‘,
……….,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ‘’ ; ; ;’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘’-,,_ ; ; ; _,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ;’-‘’ ; ; ; ‘’ ; ;’-,
……..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;¯¯’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’-,
……,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,
…..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|..’-,_ ; ; ; , ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’’,-~’ ; ; ; ; ; ,’
…,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’~-,,,,,--~~’’’’’’~-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…..,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-
…| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’….’, ; ; ; ; _,,-‘’
….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…….’’~~’’¯
…..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;_,,-‘’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’’~-,,_ ; ; ; ; _,,,-~’’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
………..| ; ; ;¯¯’’’’¯ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘
………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘
…………| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;|
…………’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ~-,,___ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘….’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
………..,’ ‘- ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’……….’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘,
……….,’ ; ;’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ,,-‘…………….’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’,
………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,-‘’…………………’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,,-‘………………………’’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; |
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’…………………………,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;,’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’………………………..,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,’’
……..| ; ; ; ; ; ;,’……………………….,-‘ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
……..’,_ , ; , ;,’……………………….,’ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ,-‘
………’,,’,¯,’,’’|……………………….| ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘--,,
………….¯…’’………………………..’-, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~,,
……………………………………………’’-,, ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ;’’~-,,
………………………………………………..’’-, ; ; ; ; ; ,,_ ; ;’-,’’-,
…………………………………………………..’, ; ; ; ; ; ; ‘-,__,\\--\\.
……………………………………………………’-, ; ; ;,,-~’’’ \\ , ,|, |
………………………………………………………’’~-‘’_ , , ,,’,_/--‘

˙uʍop-ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ uɐɔ noʎ

2011-10-25T20:47:00.001-05:00

¡sı ǝɹǝɥʇ ʇnq 'ııɔsɐ uʍop-ǝpısdn sı ǝɹǝɥʇ ʇɐɥʇ ʍouʞ ʇou pıp ı

If Cee-Lo Were In GWAR...

2011-10-23T20:47:00.000-05:00

...what would his GWAR name be?

What tastes like African lion?

2011-10-09T17:36:00.000-05:00

Illinois Lion meat!

"African Lion is NOT an endangered species. Our African Lions are raised in State of IL, USA. African Lions are slaughtered in State of IL under USDA inspection. African Lion meat is processed in State of IL in USDA inspected plant. I do not offer African Lion meat imported from South Africa or any other countries."

Well Here's Something

2011-09-13T21:41:00.002-05:00

I can't share this (too) publicly, but I just got mad and threw my iPhone at the wall hard, and not only did the screen not shatter as expected, the god damn thing actually works better.

It was hurled into a wall pretty hard by a 220 lb man, and it actually works better!

For the last few months, it had stopped seeing wifi... but now it does again.

My hat is just fucking goddamned off.

Old Age

2011-09-08T19:09:00.012-05:00

I have been noticing more and more symptoms of old age in my behavior these past few years. Not least amongst them, stink eye. It seems to have replaced an indifferent look, the blank stare, and a bemused eyebrow lift.

While I have no great concerns of having stink eye, (and having no great concern of things also seems to be a symptom of aging) I have noticed that if used on the younger generation it can have variable effects.

For example, the other day we went out for sushi; Egg's favorite meal. I order an Ichiban for myself, Coke for the missus, and Ramune for the little one. Received said drinks and when asked if we're ready to order, requested that the descriptive list of the rolls be brought forth. The list arrived shortly, and I enjoyed my beer while the wife decided what she wanted.

Time passes. Beer is emptied. Coke is emptied. Ramune is emptied. Is the waiter pissed because he had to bring the list in lieu of receiving an order? The other five tables seem to be getting service from the waitstaff.

And so I turn in my chair and begin looking for our waiter, spot him looking over, and immediately proceed to give him the stink eye. Which sends him scurrying in a direction other than ours. Five minutes later, I'm having the bartender ring up our drinks and leaving for a different place down the street. (Note: Saying fuck it and leaving places is also a symptom of aging.)

So, for science, I submit the hypothesis that the expected results of applying stink eye to a situation are not realized at this fucking place.

This one's for Grub

2011-08-25T09:17:00.002-05:00

Click to enhance.

Just to get that stuffed bird off the top

2011-08-23T09:37:00.001-05:00

Feline disrespect from behind. That is all.

Emberiza hortulana

2011-08-16T08:56:00.004-05:00

You catch the ortolan with a net spread up in the forest canopy. Take it alive. Take it home. Poke out its eyes and put it in a small cage. Force-feed it oats and millet and figs until it has swollen to four times its normal size.

Simpsons meet Futurama

2011-08-15T09:16:00.004-05:00

I don't know who made this, but I liked it. Click it to enbiggen.

Hightower

2011-08-03T20:00:00.003-05:00

Bubba Smith was two inches taller than Sasquatch. Two! And he was from Beaumont, Texas.

Plus, he was someone I never thought about until he died. And now I feel a little bit sadder because he's gone.

Well Here's Something

2011-07-30T20:43:00.001-05:00

I'd like you to click here and listen to the track, then submit your report in the comments.

Greatest under 21 redirect

2011-07-23T22:24:00.001-05:00

My last link got reddited. Try this one - click the "I am under 21" button.

At Blackacre Brewery

Google+

2011-07-22T08:56:00.001-05:00

Someone told me the other day he thought Google+ wasn't going to work because it was too late, no one was going to use it.

I'm not so sure.

Well Here's Something

2011-07-20T17:47:00.000-05:00

WE WORK FOR YOU!

2011-07-07T19:03:00.004-05:00

I was pondering why I am not more moved by the plight of public workers getting laid off. Especially given the fact that I have friends and family having a hard time finding a job. A couple of days later I saw this photo accompanying one of the numerous news articles on the topic. I saw that lady's sign and then it came to me, the ice pick in the forehead.

When have I ever walked out of a government office and felt good about the visit. Have I ever thought 'Wow. They're really working hard for me.' Or, even 'Wow, they're really working for me.'

No. It's always 'Wow. I thought they worked for me.' And I could think of numerous instances of that happening. How many times have you seen the only other window open, suddenly close when you're only 10 people back in line, and watch the worker saunter back to laugh and chat with a co-worker. 'Hello? I can see you're not doing jack shit. How about helping out front?' How many times have you felt like you're nothing but a nuisance to the person "helping" you?

So, I ask. Do you have any examples of dealings with someone who works for the man, leaving you with the feeling that you were the person who signs their paychecks?

I'm all for firemen, policemen, park rangers, and the like. I guess I'm just talking about the bureaucrats.

Cheers, Comrade

2011-07-03T21:56:00.008-05:00

Ever wonder what allows Ruskies to slug vodka all the fucking time and still show up and be productive at their communist-provided shit jobs every god damned day?

Well, wonder no more. It's called "Beet Kvass"..., and Russians have been augmenting their liver health with it for over 1000 years.

Thanks for not like ever telling the West about it, you fucking Cossack pricks.

I've tried this for a couple of weeks now. I think it has helped me be a less toxic person. I think I feel better for drinking it.

Draw your own conclusions.

PS: I think this video provides a pretty good overview, but it aint gospel... in fact, I have watched kind of a lot of these YouTube videos on beet kvass, and I haven't seen one yet that is total gospel... so I will add my own commentary in the comments of where you can make deviations if you wish... but I will do that later, because I am sleepy right now.

Salvia Freakout

2011-07-01T18:54:00.003-05:00

This Salvia Freakout made me laugh. A lot.

oh godDAMMIT

2011-06-27T19:16:00.006-05:00

What's your oh godDAMMIT moment? I just had one today - I found out that Stephanie March who played the ADA in Law and Order: SVU and whom I had a not-so-secret crush on, is married to a fuckhead.

So, what's yours?

Funkiest Song

2011-06-22T21:47:00.003-05:00

Superstition is the funkiest song ever recorded. So it is written, so shall it be.

Rener & Bubba Gracie Prank

2011-06-20T18:33:00.002-05:00

Door Holding Etiquette

2011-06-14T20:06:00.000-05:00

Rap Genius

2011-06-11T23:30:00.002-05:00

Are you white? Sure, everyone is. But what can you do about it? Rap Genius is the only web site that explains rap lyrics in a way that even literate people can understand! Thank you Rap Genius!

Another Music Post

2011-06-03T20:10:00.003-05:00

So.

What's your song?

What "my song"?, you ask? It's this:

Name the song that is most forward in your mind... not the song that is your favorite right now, maybe not even your favorite of all time... it is not the best song you know, not the song you most respect, no... it isn't any of these things.

It is the song that over your whole lifetime up till this very second has most often found it's way into your random thoughts, the one that has most often had snippets re-played in your head, for whatever reason.

Mine is Frank Zappa - Peaches III. I'd like to know yours.

Shelf Reliance

2011-06-01T23:56:00.002-05:00

I wast some country land, a straw bail home, and 1 years worth of food. I don't know why, but I want all of those things. Costco has the years-worth-of-food thing for just $999.99.

You have a boyfriend, Fuck You

2011-05-21T10:50:00.001-05:00

A Public Service

2011-05-20T18:52:00.002-05:00

To let you know if the world has ended yet.

Speaking of, I'm throwing an apocalypse party at my house tomorrow. You're all invited, but let me know if you're coming so I know how many steaks to buy. That's right, motherfucking steaks!

Just because the world is ending is no reason to eat like a vegan pussy.

Respect!

2011-05-19T20:08:00.002-05:00

I was listening to the radio on the way home form work today, and it struck me that I respect someone that I would dislike intensely in real life. Not only do I dislike this person, but I'm certain he's dumb as hair. A whole box of it.

I respect Ted Nugent. I respect his god-like shredding abilities, and his insane alpha-hunter, I-will-fucking-kill-that-and-eat-it personality. Still, I'd push him down a flight of stairs to make the world a better place.

I can't immediately think of another person I feel that way about. Anyone else got one?

I spruced up the blog a bit

2011-05-18T21:25:00.000-05:00

With the Geocitiesizer.

Red Fang

2011-05-17T22:49:00.000-05:00

Running into stuff with a car looks fun.

Unzip it.

2011-05-14T23:28:00.001-05:00

If you dare!

What a cunt...

2011-05-10T20:41:00.011-05:00

Maybe you have never read "Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun" or "Who Moved My Cheese". Perhaps you've never worked in a corporate atmosphere where your boss insists on saying "we" when he means "you", and that same dickhead thinks motivational posters are substitutes for leadership. If you've never been in that atmosphere before, you've probably never heard about how dominant "alpha males" are supposed to shake hands. Here's how you do it:

1. Make eye contact
2. Grab your enemy's hand from the top
3. Lean into their personal space

If you see someone practice this in real life, and they're the CEO of a company, then that company is fucking doomed. That dickhead has learned everything he knows about leadership and creativity from books written by people who write books for people dumb enough to buy into business fads.

Capture Camera Clip System

2011-05-10T18:50:00.003-05:00

If you have an SLR camera, you might be interested in backing the Capture Camera Clip System at Kickstarter. The inventor/designer was looking for $10,000 to back his project, but then the Internets heard about it and right now he has $117,479. I bet that goes up significantly, soon. Snufalufagus. Sasparilla. Sanguine. Seahorse. Suck it shithead!

Sorry, stuck on ess words for a bit there.

$50 gets you one, which he/they claim will retail for $70.

Today I learned....

2011-05-05T20:20:00.005-05:00

The last surviving Civil War veteran, Albert Woolson (2/11/1847 – 8/2/1956) could have seen a Leslie Nielsen movie, met Jerry Seinfeld, and eaten a McDonald's hamburger.

Ah yeeah! A color video of Albert Woolson!

Feel free to post this on Reddit for sweet Karma.

Inspiration

2011-05-05T12:40:00.002-05:00

Are you depressed? Sure, we all are. But at least you have one thing going for you - that no matter who you are, you have a nicer looking golf swing than Charles Barkley.

This is pretty intense

2011-05-04T22:41:00.000-05:00

snowmobile vs mountain

Did You Hear? Bin Laden Is Dead.

2011-05-04T00:14:00.003-05:00

Everyone here knows that I did not vote for President Obama.

Everyone here knows that I do not agree with President Obama's ideas for how to move America along into the future.

Well, let me tell you... My greatest concern with making Barack Hussein Obama the President of the United States had a lot to to with my doubts about his ability and even inclination to execute his responsibilities as Commander In Chief...

My doubts about his executing that role have been officially quashed.

My President, Barrack Hussein Obama, in his duties as Commander In Chief, in the execution of the mission that yielded the extermination of Osama Bin Laden, performed his duty, in my opinion, FUCKING PERFECTLY.

He could have just not authorized the mission on grounds that it was "unilateral", or that it violated international law... which it was... and did.

Well, fuck all that.

President Obama said to do it fucking anyway.

And I couldn't agree more.

The Pentagon wanted to just bomb the fuck out of the grounds, call Osama dead, and just forget about it... our President said um... no... let's take a risk and do it where we can show pictures of dead fucking Osama, and that's just what the fuck we did.

Our Commander-In-Chief was willing to sacrifice a little extra embarrassment if it went wrong for a shitload greater payoff if it went right... namely photographic and DNA proof that OBL is a dead motherfucker.

President Obama, along with the 40 or so SEALs that pulled this off, are now stamped in my brain as heroes in the war vs terror.

PS: I'll still debate you socialists on healthcare and shit, don't y'all worry about that.

But this is a good time for America, it's military, and it's Commander In Chief. Let's just bask in this a bit, eh?

Bees, bitch

2011-04-26T21:35:00.001-05:00

Top Punk Albums

2011-04-22T21:42:00.004-05:00

OK. I don't know that much about punk, except that at the top of any list of punk albums belongs Nevermind The Bollocks...

So, here's my uneducated top punk albums list:

(For once in my life, I'm actually counting on Stevil to improve a music discussion...)

(heh. I kid. Stevil has massive music knowledge, I just don't agree with a whole lot of it. When it comes to punk, however, I am prepared to defer to the greater punk intellect)

Anyhoo... here's my stab:

1: Nevermind The Bollocks... Here's The Sex Pistols
2: Combat Rock
3: London Calling
4: Dookie
5: Singles Going Steady
6: American Idiot
7: Sing Sing Death House
8: ?
9: ?
10: ?

Also, I know that Green Day gets called punk by a lot of people, but I don't even really think that I agree with that. So, maybe remove 2 from the above list and insert ?'s for them.

And if you haven't heard Sing Sing Death House, then I recommend that you correct that. Our pitbull is named after the lead singer.

Awesome Metal Video

2011-04-20T07:52:00.001-05:00

I know I've made you watch this before. But it's been a while.

best metal albums of all time

2011-04-15T01:34:00.002-05:00

I'm thinking about making a list of the top metal albums of all time. It doesn't have to be a top 10 list necessarily, just the top metal albums of all time. I'm thinking of Master of Puppets, Paranoid, Back in Black, Appetite for destruction, The Number of the Beast, Blizzard of OZZ, Dirt, Spreading the Disease, Shout at the Devil, self titled Van Halen, Cowboys from Hell, Beneath the Remains, Operation Mindcrime, just to name a few. I don't think I can put them in order. I'm sure I'm leaving a few out right now that I really like.

Birdemic: Shock and Terror

2011-03-29T20:57:00.004-05:00

Some kind of celestial event. No words. No words to describe it. Poetry! They should have sent a poet. So beautiful. So beautiful. I had no idea. Birdemic: Shock and Terror is worse than Troll 2.

It's...worse.

Today I learned

2011-03-20T15:39:00.003-05:00

Can anyone guess what this is?

View Larger Map

Give up? It's the hillside from the Windows XP wallpaper "Bliss". The wallpaper was taken in 1996, before it had grapes growing on it. You may remember that a few years ago I posted it and wanted someone to photoshop in the scene from the No Rain music video. Seeth said he would make it for me if I could find a hi-res version of the background. Since I'm a lazy man, I didn't spend more than 10 seconds looking for it, and so never found it.

But now I have. I will now kindly ask him to do my bidding.

Rhett Pees In Butts

2011-03-18T16:59:00.000-05:00

Know What Wold Rule? If Jasper Communications Would Change It's Name To "Jasper Motherfucking Communications"!!!!!11!!

2011-03-09T20:55:00.002-06:00

Cuz like Jasper Communications has Supreme "Email filtering service and hosting service"

Zach Anner

2011-03-06T22:42:00.004-06:00

I guess Austin Texas' own Zach Anner won Oprah's Your Own Show. Here's his Audition tape, just in case you missed it.

Although he deserved to win, the Internets helped him when a country full of cat-loving Stepford wives tried to rig the vote in favor of estrogen. Thanks to 4chan and Reddit, their desperate attempt at relevance was quashed. I'm looking forward to his new travel show.

It's Not Jackie Chan

2011-02-27T10:55:00.000-06:00

Seems like I used to play a similar game called It's Not Chuck Berry. I don't remember the rules though.

Imagine this...

2011-02-25T23:52:00.000-06:00

We all thought you were a dick!

2011-02-25T23:07:00.001-06:00

I've felt this way before. I'm not fancy.

YES!

2011-02-25T21:38:00.000-06:00

"Are you okay?"
"YES!"

Farrakhan's A Prophet That I Think You Ought To Listen To

2011-02-22T21:24:00.004-06:00

"Calypso" Louis Farrakhan does sing better than Morton Downey, Jr.

Particularly entertaining the is commenting on this page between Open4991 and SuperProphet100, which I have copypastad here for convienience...

@Open4991

NIGGER!

SuperProphet100 6 days ago
@SuperProphet100 It just keeps getting better. : P

Open4991 6 days ago
@Open4991

FROM NOW ON I'LL JUST CALL YOU......NIGGER!

SuperProphet100 6 days ago
@SuperProphet100 DiGiorno is a brand name. Funny how you always find a way to sound less intelligent than you did one post ago.

Open4991 6 days ago
@Open4991

Oh, DiGiorno had his pizza dick in your ass, lol.

SuperProphet100 6 days ago
@SuperProphet100 Wrong again. It was DiGiorno.

Open4991 1 week ago
@Open4991

The only pizza you have is a pizza dick in your ass.

SuperProphet100 1 week ago
Reply
@SuperProphet100 They smell like pizza, which is what I ate about ten minutes ago. Definitely not anus.

Open4991 1 week ago
@Open4991

Smell them, they are.

SuperProphet100 1 week ago

2011-02-20T23:51:00.005-06:00

I notice Grub isn't on Reddit. He's all hip and groovy with his fun time gang, but hasn't tuned into the reddit scene yet. Maybe this will convince him.

The ranking changes every minute, but control-F for "pioneer" to see what the hivemind thinks of FZ.

Morton Downey Jr Sings

2011-02-20T14:14:00.003-06:00

In the early 80's, Morton Downey Jr. hosted a right-wing AM talk show blasting liberals and championing all things conservative. He was fired for employing the word "chinaman" in an on-air joke, and was replaced by a former disc jockey and promotions director for the KC Royals, Rush Limbaugh.

Downey moved to New Jersey in the late 80's and began taping his television show The Morton Downey Jr. Show. The show ran for about three years, and I would watch it whenever I could. He would invite liberal guests to the show, ask them loaded questions, blow cigarette smoke in their face, and scream over their responses (a novel approach for a political talk show at the time). If his guests continued, he would literally begin waving an American Flag and then turn the audience against them by declaring them America-Hating Communists. He had a catch phrase that he liked to shout too, it was "Zip it!" I recently learned that he turned that catch phrase into a song for his album Morton Downey Jr Sings. It's one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Enjoy.

He didn't say whip it. He didn't say flip it. He said zip it!

Discuss:

2011-02-20T13:03:00.005-06:00

Lang, Hitchcock, Spielberg, or X?

Back up your claim.

I will reserve my pick for later.

Carnitas, Bitches!

2011-02-19T21:31:00.004-06:00

I want to record for all time my Carnitas recipe.

In a Dutch oven, place a pork shoulder roast, three or four of those dried chili pods, a quartered onion, three or so celery stalks with leaves and such, and a couple of carrots. Sprinkle in granulated garlic, onion powder, smoked paprika, a little caldo de res, a Goya con azafran packet, and some black pepper. Add enough water to come halfway up the roast. Cover and roast at 320 for 3 hours or even a little longer.

With tongs and a fork, shred the tender pork onto a baking sheet and spread evenly. Shake on a dine layer of Goya adobo seasoning and broil on the highest rack for three or four minutes. The object here is to brown up and create a heavy crispness on the pork. Get it sizzling pretty good. Give all the meat a third turn and repeat twice more. Keep the oven door cracked the whole time so that the broiler never goes off. Season with more adobo to taste.

Serve however you like. I like it with softened corn tortillas, minced onion, shredded cheese, cilantro and lime.

I make Grub do this

2011-02-18T23:10:00.003-06:00

I like having Grub read back his drunken texts in a James Earl Jones voice, or sometimes Morgan Freeman. Any deep voiced elderly negro actor will do, really.

PS James Earl Jones is old :(

Musical score by Frank Zappa

2011-02-11T18:38:00.003-06:00

I came across this movie looking at movies never released to DVD.

The World’s Greatest Sinner has never had an official release, although it has aired on the Turner Classic Movies channel. The film originally achieved cult status through repeated screenings at the “midnight movies” in Los Angeles during the 1960s. It features a musical score that was composed by a very young Frank Zappa. Martin Scorsese has selected the film as one of his favorite Rock and Roll movies of all time.

Fine, fine

2011-02-03T18:51:00.003-06:00

OK, so you guys weren't ecstatic about my idea that Seth McFarlane stole years before I even had it.

I have another idea: Iron Chef Scotland!

Come over next weekend and let's get it done.

Retraction

2011-02-02T16:37:00.002-06:00

On November 30, 2005, I posted that I bet none of you knew that Danny Elfman was born in Amarillo, Texas. Apparently that was wrong and was based on a joke that he made.

Gringo Miscue sincerely regrets the mistake.

Happy birthday CRF

2011-01-31T07:20:00.003-06:00

Hm, CRF turned 10 yesterday and no one noticed. This is the first post of the new decade!

Beyond Black Mesa

2011-01-28T20:17:00.001-06:00

This is a fan-generated short film set in the Half Life universe.

Fucking amateurs made this.

Minecraft review

2011-01-26T19:52:00.001-06:00

This is for Seeth. Still, no one has explained to my satisfaction why anyone would ever want to play this game.

Review

2011-01-26T14:41:00.004-06:00

So I was looking at National Geographic's photo contest for 2010 and I really like the expression on the squirrel's face.
All in all some good photos though.

Hank III Is The Sex Pistols Of The Hank Sr's And The Hank Jr's And The Hank III's

2011-01-24T23:32:00.006-06:00

...and I'll even add a little Rev. Horton Heat to the mix... see if you agree... oh, and also Primus.

I drink a lotta whiskey, smokin all the time
I'm gettin fucked up every god damn night
Everybody's doin cocaine and startin up fights
And I'm livin fast and hard and dyin hard with my god damn
Loaded fists of fury, doin what I do
And I'm spittin in your face because I'm dominatin you
Livin hard and doin time cuz I don't give a fuck
I've been beat down and thrown around and now you're out of luck

Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch, Fight, Fuck

Well I'm always gettin loaded on the evil side of town
That's where I'm hangin out cuz I'm always feelin down
Livin fast and lonely, doin what I do
And I'm lookin for a whore gunna fuck her black and blue
My blood is like a poison, always raping you
Til I make you see a side that you never ever knew
Doin what I'm doin and I'm always fuckin hard
And I'm doin dope and smokin smoke and now I'm stealin cars

Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch, Fight, Fuck

I drink a lotta whiskey, smokin all the time
I'm gettin fucked up every god damn night
Everybody's doin cocaine and startin up fights
And I'm livin fast and hard and diein young with my god damn
Loaded fists of fury, doin what I do
And I'm spittin in your face cuz I'm dominatin you
Livin hard and doin time cuz I don't give a fuck
I've been beat down and thrown around and now you're out of luck

Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch...Fight, Fuck
Punch, Fight, Fuck
Punch, Fight, Fuck

(And plus the fact that I don't fit into a certain genre, I don't fit in with this band or that band and I don't play this game or that game ya know, I don't kiss the political ass of the music system, I do it my way, above all, any way I feel, with anyone I can get who's willing to come along for the flight)

Paper HL2

2011-01-24T17:22:00.000-06:00

The Dead Weather: Sure To Tweak Someone

2011-01-22T18:39:00.008-06:00

I likes me some The Dead Weather. It's Jack White's latest joint
in which he went and got the singer from Riot Grrl-esque group
The Kills and took her for his own evil plans.

Here's one for your consideration (no embed).

And here's another.

28 days later

2011-01-21T22:38:00.001-06:00

Earns the Gringo Miscue "Meh" award for movies that were hyped by everyone and then weren't so great.

What happens when humans lose their humanity? It's contagiously tragic!

DN4E

2011-01-21T17:04:00.001-06:00

Welly, welly, welly, Duke Nukem Forever finally has a release date. Put in your birthday for a trailer.

It looks... sorta... meh... I dunno. I'll still buy it. So will you.

White Stripes - Death Letter (Son House Cover live)

2011-01-17T03:53:00.001-06:00

Well this is just fucking fantastic! It's like the White Stripes asked me what I wanted them to cover and I said, "How bout them two Son House videos below?" Then they said, "Why not motherfucker!"

Son House

2011-01-14T22:51:00.006-06:00

A friend at work told me about Son House today. I love this guy, and I've never even heard his name before.

This happened to me

2011-01-14T20:12:00.005-06:00

I work on the second story of a library where the offices and classrooms circle a big open space that allows you to look down on the front desk and rows of bookshelves.

To enter the library you have to walk through the outside doors, into a foyer, and then through the inner doors that lead to the front desk. There's a wide marble staircase that leads from the second floor to the foyer. I walk down it every day when I leave work. The library closes at 5PM and the inner doors are locked.

As I left my lab on the second floor today, I heard someone below yanking at the locked doors of the library. "It's not five. It's not fucking five yet!" It was 5:15 PM.

I made my way down the stairs. At the bottom I saw a slight, middle-aged man with a trim middle-aged beard holding a cell phone to his ear. He wasn't talking to anyone, he was just holding the phone to his head - until he saw me. "Do you work here. Are you part of the library?"

I said, "I work here."

"I got here at five and the library isn't supposed to close until five and I drove 80 miles an hour to get here because they have a book and there's a three-day weekend!"

I looked outside and saw his F150 parked in the fire lane. The cab was packed full of balloons. Blue ones.

"I drove 80 miles an hour to get here! It's not supposed to close until five o'clock and I got here at five o'clock! I have a book that I... I'm going to file a grievance!"

To emphasize his point, he screamed into his phone, "I'M GOING TO FILE A GRIEVANCE!"

I couldn't have been more pleased. I fucking love crazy, and this guy was the best kind of it - the kind that couldn't kick my ass. But like all honest-to-god crazy, it was so fast and so confusing...

I said, "The library closes at five. I don't..."

One of the librarians opened the inner door and peaked her head out. She didn't say anything, she just looked at him.

"I drove 80 miles an hour to get here and you have a book and..."

She said, "Okay, come in."

I'm not sure if he was returning a book or picking one up, but a few minutes later he sprinted to his truck and drove away like he was being chased.

I wished for his windows to be open so the balloons would fly out as he drove away. I wished really fucking hard, but it didn't happen.

What do you guys think about this?

2011-01-12T21:36:00.000-06:00

There's plenty I don't like about Al Franken, but other than Gore I can't think of another politician that has a better understanding of technology (for lack of a better word.) Any thoughts?

Open tryouts!

2011-01-12T19:48:00.003-06:00

I'm going to try to make a short (< 5 minutes) movie for the Off centered film festival. My idea is a guy that finds a magic lamp/genie thing and his wish is that he has a sound track to his life that plays everywhere he goes. We've all wished we had that, right? But get this - something goes terribly wrong!

As a high powered DFW area director, I'm now taking open call for actors (Scottish accent preferred,) video editors, camera men, groupies, and hangers-on. Also, if anyone with some expertise could advise me as to whether it's legal to put in a bunch of copyrighted songs as the soundtracks to this guy's life, I'd appreciate it.

It probably won't pay me anything, but there is some cash available if you place in the top three. If that matters to my legal advisors.

You know how to contact me if you're interested.

EAT MORE PUSSYHOLE CLIT

2011-01-11T00:11:00.002-06:00

Reckon I'm right popular.

2011-01-10T23:05:00.005-06:00

Any man don't wanna get killed better clear on out the back.

Team Fortress 2 reveiw

2011-01-10T22:08:00.009-06:00

I been playing it. I've had it for like a year and never played it until yesterday.

It's... ok. It is fun to play, provided that you don't expect it to be like the classic, great, funnest game of all time, original. The classes are the same as before, and some will be happy that the sniper class is now pretty much useless. They are too weak and it's too hard to shoot.

The spy is upgraded. They can kill any class instantly with a backstab, and go invisible for a few seconds. They also have an electronics sap ability that lets them sap the engineers' sentries without breaking disguise. Pretty good upgrade, and needed. Previously, the spy was only good for knifing snipers and causing mischief. (Ahh, the pictures weren't archived, if anyone has the original page it'd be better.)

**EDIT: I (pretty much) recreated the page - Grub.**

The heavy weapons guy is upgraded. Due to the fact that no one has any goddamn grenades (see rant below) no one can stand toe-to-toe with the HWG, or "heavy" as he is now dubbed. He can kill any class in less than a second, even a soldier, with his minigun.

The soldier is downgraded. There is no armor in the game (see rant below) so he's as vulnerable as anyone else. The rockets still come 4 to a clip but they are harder to aim, for some reason. You can still hit a dumb scout at his feet and knock him into the air, then blast him to pieces just as he comes down, but it's harder than it used to be.

The engineer is downgraded. Gone is the railgun. Now you have a dumb shotgun just like half the other classes have. The sentries are tough, once upgraded, but a spy has no trouble taking out your guns. They put a sapper on and it's about 5 seconds until the thing blow up. I just stood in a mexican standoff kind of a thing with a spy, me clanging on my sentry trying to repair it, him on the other side of it putting more sappers on it. They should have put a cooldown time on the sapper.

The pyro is vastly upgraded. He can kill any class except HWG in about a second with a direct blast from his flame thrower. His incendiary rockets are gone, so he's strictly a close range class, but his damage is way high. He's especially good for finding spies - since there is no friendly damage, he can spam every room with fire and only the spies will ignite.

The scout is upgraded. He has a sawed off shotgun that can kill a soldier with two blasts at close range. Kind of stupid.

The medic and demoman are about the same. Medics have a healing gun thing now, so that's ok, but no real offense to speak of. You can't infect enemy players anymore. That was the whole fun thing about the class, why did they take it away!

Demoman has regular grenades and pipe bombs (reincarnated as "sticky bombs" which can cling to walls and ceilings.) You still plant a bunch in front of the base and blast some fags when they run out - that's still fun. But he has no detpacks, and no grenades! Goddammit.

That's my main beef with TF2 - why the hell did they take out the grenades? They leveled the playing field - and engineer could take down a soldier or HWG with a well placed EMP grenade. A demoman could blast a whole area with his MIRVs. But not anymore - every class has its relative strengths, and if you are fighting a class that is more powerful than you, you're going to get killed pretty much every time. That pisses me off. If you are any class that is non-offensive in nature, you have no chance against any sentry gun or a higher grade class. That makes the game kind of stupid, in my opinion.

Overall, I rate it a C-. It could have been so much better. The graphics are all cartoonish and the maps are too small. You can't snipe on the 2fort map worth a damn because a scout can be across the bridge (which now has a cover!) in about 1.5 seconds. If he comes out of the bottom of the base, you have no chance to snipe him. I guess that might be a plus for some, but why render the sniper class useless?

Plus, the flags are replaced by "intelligence" briefcases. If you refer to the intelligence room as the "flag room" people won't know what you are talking about. Beh. Fucking kids.

Lemobadghelmstache, you are dead to me.

2011-01-10T15:31:00.003-06:00

Track and Field 2010

2010-12-21T19:59:00.002-06:00

This is kind of hard. 100 meter dash.

The real challenge: do it 10 times without bursting into laughter.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-20T23:01:00.002-06:00

A couple of Christmases ago, I posted this Twisted Sister video as my way of getting everyone into the Christmas spirit.

Seeth's response was pretty cynical. I wonder if he's warmed to the genius of Dee Snider with his advancing years?

Steam Christmas sale

2010-12-20T17:49:00.004-06:00

For those of you that play video games on the PC, now is a good time to check Steam. They have tons of games at really low prices:

22 Valve Games for $49.99 or get most of them for $5 each.

Rockstar Games collection for $39.99.

For a more complete description, check out this thread from Reddit.com

Captain Beefheart Dead at 69

2010-12-17T20:29:00.003-06:00

Cartoonist and writer Matt Groening tells of listening to [Beefheart's] Trout Mask Replica at the age of 15 and thinking "that it was the worst thing I'd ever heard. I said to myself, they're not even trying! It was just a sloppy cacophony.Then I listened to it a couple more times, because I couldn't believe Frank Zappa could do this to me - and because a double album cost a lot of money. About the third time, I realised they were doing it on purpose; they meant it to sound exactly this way. About the sixth or seventh time, it clicked in, and I thought it was the greatest album I'd ever heard."

Yeah, well...I don't know about that. But I did like his Safe as Milk album.

The Good, the Bad, the Weird

2010-12-08T22:02:00.005-06:00

Imagine a Korean kung fu remake of The Good the Bad and the Ugly. Now imagine that same movie with guns instead of kung fu and Ennio Morricone still does the soundtrack except he's from the distant future and John Ford, Sergio Leone, and Akira Kurosawa fucked the same movie camera and it birthed a fully functional cyborg filmmaker capable of making only the best movies possible, but then Michael Bay snuck up behind it and hit it in the head with a gratuitous explosion and it made The Good, the Bad, the Weird instead.

RIP Leslie Nielsen (February 11, 1926 – November 28, 2010)

2010-11-28T21:44:00.004-06:00

Leslie Nielsen dead at 84
Surely, he will be missed.

Your brain is broken

2010-11-27T13:18:00.003-06:00

The blue and the green are actually the same color. Check in MS Paint if you don't believe me.

KK's explanation: "you have rods and cones... and they... aren't good."

Homemade instrument medley

2010-11-26T22:26:00.003-06:00

If I looked harder, I could probably find the year this was made. But I didn't, so I'm just gonna assume it was "recent" because of the flat-screen TV on the wall in the background. And because I think it's recent, I wanna know how these whipersnapers even know the songs they're playing. How does Europe, the forgettable 80's band, make it into ~~they're~~ their repertoire? Is dad still playing that shit? Rock Band maybe?

Guess who's singing?

2010-11-22T13:37:00.001-06:00

It's Ricky Gervais. He fronted a band called Seona Dancing in the early 80s.

M.C. Escher

2010-11-22T13:01:00.003-06:00

Maurits Cornelis Escher, my favorite MC, died in 1972. I guess I didn't know that. Until today, I had never seen photograph of him.